Loose Teeth

Life has been crazy busy with the start of school having come and gone. I am now in the midst of my fourth week of classes and feeling quite challenged. It's been a test of my faith in myself and my sanity, but I am succeeding. I feel pretty proud of myself, as I have always been one to run from challenges rather than accept them and deal with them head on. I am definitely doing it, though, and couldn't be happier (amidst my exhaustion).

I got an unexpected surprise this weekend. I FINALLY got picture's from Hope's parents. Yes, the pictures they promised me right after Christmas. Regardless of how long it took for them to send them, I was jumping for job when I checked my email and saw her beautiful little face smiling back at me. The note attached was short and sweet:

Hi M,

Thanks for waiting. Please enjoy these pictures of Hope.

Cordially,
V and L

I was slightly bummed the email didn't say more, but I was still fairly excited to have gotten pictures. Besides, I did get an email about a month ago from them. I can't be so demanding :) I followed up with an email to let them know I got the pictures:

V and L,

Thank you so, so much for sending me pictures of beautiful Hope. It definitely made my day of drowning in homework so much better to see her beautiful, smiling face. I am so amazed by how much she has grown since the last pictures you sent me. She is definitely looking more mature and grown, and she is extremely beautiful. I love seeing how happy she is. She seems to really enjoy all of the activities she is involved in.

 Have the teeth that were loose on Christmas fallen yet?

Once again, thank you so much for sending me the pictures. I always enjoy receiving emails from you and especially enjoy seeing pictures of Hope and all that she has going on in her life. It's truly refreshing and a great motivator when I hear from you.

Hope all is well,
*M

When I woke up the follwoing morning, I had an unexpected surprise in my inbox, a response back!

Hi M,

We are so glad you enjoyed the pictures. Yes, Hope has grown so much
and does not look like a little girl. She has not lost her teeth yet and now
there is a total of four loose teeth. Three on top and one on the bottom. 
She is having a heck of a time eating.  As you can see in the pictures she enjoys
everything.

Keep up the good work with school it will all pay off in the end.

All our love,

V, L and the "big girl" Hope

It feels good, almost as if they are warming up to me more, which I truly appreciate. I am so incredibly grateful for the opportunity they have given me by opening the door to more communication through email. I never in a million years would have expected oour relationship to be as "open" as it is with each other. I feel so incredibly blessed to have the chance to engage in actual conversation with them and to have the ability to tell them about my life.

I've been thinking about Hope a lot more than usual lately. Maybe because my 29th birthday is just 22 days away and I'm realizing how fast time is flying, or maybe it's because J and I have been talking more and more about marriage and a family of our own and he has brought up that my "clock is ticking". I miss her, a lot. I wish I had her here to do girly things with her. I would have loved to take her to see Beauty and the Beast, or Lady and the Tramp, or to Build-a-Bear or to go and get a pedi together. I would love to be the one to find out about her loose teeth and to see her jack-o-lantern smile. I would love to see her laugh and giggle and play with C. Seeing her pictures only solidified that need and want even more.

I have been talking about getting a tattoo in her honor for soooooo long. I have gone back and forth about what exactly I wanted. Did I want a flower? Did I want her face? Did I want an adoption symbol? I was browsing around on Pinterest (my new addiction) and came across a white ink tattoo that said hope. It was plain and simple and beautiful, and I decided that is exactly what I want. I made the decision that I am going to do it within the next couple of weeks as a birthday gift to myself. I want to know that my baby girl is with me always, and thats by permanently making her a part of my body, in ink. I'm so scared but so excited at the same time. I can't wait to get this work done!