Birthmother

I've said it before, but I'll say it again: There are many other things in life that define who I am besides being a birthmother. I am C's mom, J's girlfriend (and hopefully future wife), my mother and father's daughter, I am E & D's sister. I am a student. I am an administrative assistant. I am a friend to some amazing people and an acquaintance to the rest of the world. I don't have one title to define who I am, and if I did, Birthmother wouldn't be what I would choose.

Where is this coming from, you're probably asking? Well, the other day, I caught glimpse of a post on my favorite social networking site from a girl who talked about doing an introduction in her college class where she told everyone she is a birthmom. She was upset that people looked at her dumbfounded. They weren't sure what to make of that. She was upset by the teacher's "lack of proper terminology" and the hushed comments from classmates when class was over. She seemed to be livid by the response to her status. I thought about this for a lil bit, and I realized that maybe, just maybe, I'm different than most when it comes to being a birthmom.

I don't think I deserve a special prize or recognition for the sacrifice I made 6 1/2 years ago. I don't think anyone needs to know about my "secret" life other than the people I choose to share it with (and with you reading this blog, of course). This saves me from the awkwardness of having to explain as well as from the having to deal with judgments people pass before really getting to know me. My past experiences in life don't DEFINE who I am, however, they have helped to shape me into the woman I am today. I don't let being a single mother or a birthmother be what people remember me as after meeting me for the first time. I want them to think of me as the strong, independent woman who has surpassed the adversities she has faced throughout her life.

Maybe I feel this way because being a mom, to both C and Hope, is a privilege. It has been what has saved my life, as I feel the choices I have made since then have been because of all I've gone through. I am a better peron because of my babies. I push harder in school. I push harder at work. I push, push, push to not be a statistic, to be different, which I feel that I am. So I'm sorry if I meet you out on the street, or if I have a class with you one day and the first thing out of my mouth isn't: "I'm a birthmom". I'm sorry if we cross paths everyday on the way to work or on the way home and you don't ever know. I'm sorry if I see you at the market, or in church, or wherever life takes us and don't tell you. Don't be offended that I never told you when you eventually find out. Be thankful I did, because that means you are special, just as being a birthmom is special to me. :)